Somehow , you are sweet . 280108♥
It's been so long since I last blogged , miss me ?
Yeah , long till my dog barking O: ~ .
My life for this month is really suck up t th core, Even though it's th most special month for me .
But somehow , rather not . I hate this month alot .
Excluding my bestf birthday , ofcos .
I won't hesitate t blow up everyth here; as here is too public t do so .
And this particular day , Oct 23rd 2010 . A year before confess happened , East coast .
Th seawater was never enough t replace those tears .I said . But not anymore . Because of sudden confession , I destroyed my bestf birthday celebration but I manage t control myself after his councilling and join th fun .
If you are sad , I'am your shoulder . If you are happy , I'am your smile ..... etc
Two hearts battling one . Sacrifcing had been done , w/o regrets I fought for this love .  I did my part but you break th rules , w/o any reason you announced tht we lose this game . I'am always hoping for th chance right from th start , even I know nothing; I still accept begging t you, tht made me feel stupid . I lose someth , I gain nothing . 7 more days since th last I said ' If were mean t be tgt , fate will bring us back again' . I believe in tht , but somehow now .Somebody made me t stand still , look back and think . What had happened for this past 1 year , I'am happy ? Issit fair ? Do I deserve better ? Does you really treat this seriously ? I think back , for this almost 1 year .
I'am happy heartly when you're by myside but not physically . I'am happy I have my true love whose holding my heart , but in the same time , cutting it like a vegetables quietly . I did suffer , I tolerate , I didn't mind .
 Because , I think , I'am lucky enough t have you (: . Pathetic things happened , Feb 20 2010 - I'am super duper happy ! Some ppl may know why . but don't insist t ask me what . Because I wont bother t ans .
I'am feel so much  grateful when caring ppl were around especially you . A tears of joys flew , I'am being loved , by so many ppl . I stopped all th nonsense cause I thought back , it's somehow stupid and childish .
But after sometime , it's gone . All th tender love and care from you gone too . Quarrels started , break ups , leaving each other behind often happened too . But if this thing happened , were alone . Quiet place , dark nobody is around . Ended up , I'am alone . I can't imagine , I was being left alone . On those times , how I wish got one drunken uncle run t me and stab me t stop th pain and let me feel tht I'am not alone in tht place . I waited , you didn't came back , dont even bother t check if I was alright . Somehow , I get used t it . I didn't mind . My temper was worse than a worst . Maybe you really don't understand girls . What they want and what they need . Maybe he's correct , I thought everyth he said was wrong . he just want t wake me up and think I deserve better . I kept thinking , you are th only one who can make me happy , can make me stop crying . But he proved me wrong , I lose t him . He thought me how t ' just smile and everyth will be ok' . I did it , I did smile . But I still do love you , love you so much tht I still gave in everyth . Even though I was always left behind . I did chose you than my friends , th worse thing you came first than my parents .Sigh
We're tgt , and yeah I'll better be quiet . A goodgirl you first time knew and used t called darling . I love-d you hard core always but th thing changed now is I play hard t get . You don't want me , I won't force myself inside of you anymore . You want me , you take me . You dont want me , you throw me . But don't ever pick me up again . I'am not a recycle paper anymore .
270108 Thts when I loved you till now and then .♥